Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
