she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
