I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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