I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
