i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
