Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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