Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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