just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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