I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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