We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
