this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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