How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
