champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
