i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
