i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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