There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
