He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
