Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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