Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
