discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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