"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
