Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
