That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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