I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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