he thought i was a dude.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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