Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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