just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
