Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My vagina is officially offended.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
