see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
