planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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