his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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