the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drake has all the answers
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
