she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
