I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
