Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
