Apparently you make a good broom.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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