Nicole vs. Life
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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