all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
