Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
