whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
