Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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