p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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