I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Come on in and take your pants off
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