I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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