Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
