My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
youre lurking in front of me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
