I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
