i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Vodka?
Forever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
