Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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