We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
