I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
