Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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