Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
