Christians are straight up FREAKS
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
